Just back from the Media Day zoo which, in my opinion, wasn’t nearly as bad as others in the past. Oh, there were the requisite foofs there—the bride asking all the players to marry her, some idiot walking around in a genie’s outfit, and the large-chested young lady from a Mexican station who had a soccer ball taken away from her by security. I felt a lot safer when that happened, believe me.

First some news. Cornerback Kevin Dockery said he expects to practice tomorrow and play on Sunday. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t believe him because he said the same stuff when he was wobbling around on a crutch two weeks ago with that bad hip flexor. But since he did some work Saturday, I’ll take him at his word that he’ll be out there.

Cornerback Aaron Ross is feeling fine, too. You may recall that in yesterday’s story we reported the first-round rookie threw up on the plane just before takeoff because of the virus that’s been going around. Not true, Ross said. He had the virus last week, since he’s a roommate of Michael Johnson, who actually missed practice with it. But this episode was caused by an air-sickness pill that, ironically, disagreed with his belly and made him sick. Sometimes, it’s just better to tough things out, I guess. Either way, it was safe to stand close to him as I and several other reporters did. He, too, will be out there tomorrow.

And just for the record, expect G Rich Seubert there, too, despite the sprained MCL that kept him out of practice all last week. This is all hands on deck, and none of these guys are going to miss this opportunity short of a broken neck.

Now, about that so-called guarantee Plaxico Burress made to one of the New York tabloids. He said it, all right. 23-17 final, the Giants winning, of course. But it came off an off-hand question as he was leaving the podium as the arrival press conference ended. “Somebody walked by me and said, ‘Hey, what’s the score gonna be?’ And I said, 23-17. It was the first thing that came out of my mouth.”

When someone asked him if that was his gut feeling, Burress said, “You got to want to win the game, man. Why not? Why can’t it be us?”

Just goes to show how even the smallest of things gets blown out of proportion during Super Bowl week.

Burress later authored the single most touching moment of Media Day when he brought up a nine-year-old boy to the podium. Now, these kids television stations have youngsters going around asking questions, and Brock Domann of the Scholastic News Kids Press Corps got one in on Burress about what advice he’d give to a kid who wanted to play pro football.

“You see all these people here?” he asked the lad, arm around his shoulder. “You see all those seats? They’re all gonna be filled Sunday. You see this podium with my name on it? I’m telling you, it’s the greatest feeling in the world.

“So my advice to you is, a lot of hard work.”

Then he asked the kid whether he wanted to play pro football. Brock told him not only did he want to play in the NFL, but he wanted to play in the Pro Bowl, too.

“Pro Bowl? Even I haven’t been there,” Burress said.

Good guy, Burress. A little off the wall at times, but a good guy.

Ciao for now.

Okay, computer geeks. Here’s something for you.

Brady Throws 99,997 Interceptions; Pats Still Win

Defiance, OH — Even with Quarterback Tom Brady throwing 99,997 interceptions, the New England Patriots scored more than 14 million points to beat the New York Giants in 500,000 simulations of Super Bowl XLII. According to SportSims.net, in their simulations of this year’s Super Bowl matchup, the Patriots won 79% of the time – the highest winning percentage in their 21-year history.

SportSims.net, with a record of 15-5 in past Super Bowl predictions, calculated that the Patriots will win with a score of 34-24 over the Giants.

“The better team, by quite a margin, is the New England Patriots according to our simulation,” said David Holt of SportSims.net. The average points scored: New England-28.6, New York-20.3. Holt, who has been running this simulation program for 21 years, along with his colleagues Alan Stephenson and Steve Olson, entered the players’ actual season statistics into their simulation engine to get the most accurate results possible.

In 500,000 simulations, the New England Patriots won 79% of the time. When the Patriots won, they outscored the New York Giants 31-18. In the 21% of the games where New York won, they outscored New England 28-21.

According to Holt, “It will be a tough road for the Giants, but if they focus on some key factors that we discovered in the game simulation, they have a solid opportunity to pull an upset.”

What are the three critical key factors for the Giants to beat the Patriots? The Giants must have no turnovers, sack quarterback Tom Brady at least three times, and contain wide receiver Wes Welker.

“If the Giants keyed on those factors, we saw a 32% shift in the winning percentages and the Giants won 53% of the games,” according to SportSims.net president, Steve Olson.

The representative game reveals how the game will unfold. New England leads the game 21-17 at halftime, then the Giants rally to tie the score at the end of the third quarter. Then in the fourth quarter, the Patriots surge to score 10 unanswered points to win Super Bowl XLII. Tom Brady is named the Super Bowl MVP on the strength of his passing game, completing 24 of 36 passes for 284 yards with two passing touchdowns and one rushing touchdown.

SportSims.net, a unique online sports simulation, allows subscribers to compete against other people in dynasty franchise football seasons using customized game plans, team management, trading and a state-of-the-art Live Draft. SportSims.net’s Super Bowl prediction is for entertainment only and not for gambling purposes.

Super Bowl XLII Statistics, Play-by-Play and the Box Score can also be viewed online at www.sportsims.net/superbowl42.asp

MY OPINION: Guess it’s healthier than playing Grand Theft Auto.

Ciao for now.

The Giants landed about an hour late, and Aaron Ross tossed his cookies just before takeoff because of that virus that’s been going around the team. That must have been pleasant. But there is great hope that the bug has just about run its course. Now, it’s a matter of individual guys getting it, rather than three at a time.

With any luck, everybody will be on two feet when they start practice at the Cardinals’ facility Wednesday. But first, Media Day, that disaster the NFL puts on every year where everybody with a standup routine or costume gets to come and create a ruckus while the real reporters try to do their job.

Oh, well. Just part of the scenery. Anyway, the Giants in attendance at the arrival press conference were appropriately confident, and why not. They’re 3-0 on the road in the playoffs. And, hey, they were all dressed in black. Antonio Pierce’s idea. Team unity thing. Well, as Pat Cooper said about the old Italian mothers wearing black at weddings, “If anybody dies, they’re ready.”

Actually, Plaxico Burress said they could be getting ready for a funeral. And then he smiled, meaning probably not theirs.

Tom Coughlin kept a good hold on things as he was asked several questions from non-New York media that he’s answered, oh, 5,500 times for us. He appears ready for the repetitiveness of it all, and might as well embrace it because the questions he heard tonight are going to be the same ones he hears right through the final coach’s press conference Friday. Let’s face it, despite how amazing this whole playoff run has been, we’ve written it all. It’s only new for those outside New York.

Here’s one observation that might sound corny, but I’ve never seen Eli Manning look more confident. He sat at the table, looked straight at questioners, and had a good, strong, committed delivery. Like I said, probably corny. But he really took on the mannerisms and tone of a team leader. None of that “Aw shucks” stuff. Just straight forward statements. Who knows? Maybe he’ll even get annoyed at somebody later in the week.

Speaking of that, I heard Tiki Barber is supposed to come down as a reporter. Don’t know when, but it’d be great if they sent him out to one of the interview sessions for Eli. Would love to see that exchange.

Okay. The real madness starts tomorrow morning. Don’t expect loads of news, but plenty of foofery.

Catch ya later.

Ciao for now.

So I’m at a kids basketball game Sunday, and I had to leave at halftime because I had to get to La Guardia. And all the parents are telling me, “Oooh. You’re so lucky. You get to go to the Super Bowl.”

Yeah. So lucky. This is so glamorous.

Let’s see. It took 12 hours to get to Phoenix. Change and delay in Atlanta. Headwinds of 140 mph, according to the pilot, that made the Atlanta-Phoenix leg about an hour longer than scheduled. Get to come back a week from Monday on a flight that’s already booked, and we’ve been warned to arrive more than three hours before your flight because the security lines are going to be the size of the Great Wall of China. Arrived to an absolute downpour at about 12:30 a.m., which is 2:30 a.m. Eastern time, or half a day after I left.

Drove through a putrid city between the airport and downtown, with dreadful construction ongoing—nice timing, with the Super Bowl and the FBR Open both in town this week. Downtown Phoenix is like a military zone. All the roads around the hotel are blocked off by police trucks: “Why do you want to get to the Hyatt, sir?”
“Uh, because I’m staying there?”

Police crawling all over the hotel. Imagine the overtime they’re spending on this week. No interaction with the public. They’re not allowed near the hotels. So it’s a virtual ghost town except for those staying in the area … if they can get in.

The Hyatt is a dump. A $240 a night dump (special media rate negotiated by the NFL; most hotels are in the $400 range, especially on the coming weekend). That’s not steep enough, but they jacked up the parking around the hotel, they’re charging $12 (plus tax) a day for internet service, and a liter of water in the room is going for $5.25. Good thing it’s not my money.

I can only imagine how violated the actual fans feel, the way the NFL makes it impossible for them to get tickets (a) legitmately or (b) at anything less than 700 percent of their face value. That’s why they get a stadium packed with people who aren’t really fans.

Well, you say, at least there’s the weather? Yeah, it’s warm here. In the 60s. But it’s raining on and off, and supposed to do so all week. There are clouds. My hotel room window overlooks a brick wall and a parking lot and a skyscraper. The sun came out for a while this morning and yet I needed to have every light on in my room in order to see. Then I spent about $23 on breakfast that was probably worth $4.

Today I get to talk to the players. Of course, you have to drive about an hour each way to talk to the Giants. Most events you get herded around on buses, like cattle going to slaughter.

Tomorrow’s Media Day, the mother of all sporting event circuses. There will be clowns with media credentials, bimbos with media credentials, kids with media credentials, celebs with media credentials. And for those of us who actually have to do some work, these other idiots will get the athletes in a bad mood with their idiotic questions: “If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?”

So, yeah, I get to go to the Super Bowl. Whoopeee! Get a boxed lunch, too. Yee-hah!

The Giants’ charter was supposed to take off at 11:30 a.m. and wound up leaving at 12:38 p.m. No skin off my schnozz. But I wonder if this isn’t a portent of things to come.

Late arrivals, late surges. Late getting off the ball, stuff like that?

Probably not. You guys might want to send your favorite players some strands of garlic just in case. Keep the evil spirits away.

So, who’s coming down? Who’s getting here when? And tell me about the best thing you plan to do besides go to the game.

Ciao for now.

Just a note here to pump what I think is a good cause. Mike Ditka’s “Gridiron Greats Assistance Fund” has several fundraising events going on in and around Phoenix. But the one you guys might be interested in is the on-line auction of various pieces of memorabilia at www.gridirongreats.org.

Ditka’s organization helps the former players who can’t get medical assistance from the NFL or the players association. Ditka, along with many other NFL vets, are fighting to get increased financial support from the league for the guys who need extensive surgery and medical upkeep in their later years. A lot of them helped make the NFL what it is today and yet, they’re being swept under the rug.

Anyway, wouldn’t hurt to give the site a look and if you see anything you like, bid on it. The guys could use the help.

Ciao for now.

Landed in Phoenix late last night and it was raining. Rain in the desert? Yeah. Occasionally.

I actually remember one game here when it snowed a foot and a half overnight. People were so flustered they couldn’t tell you their names. Nobody had a single heavy jacket in the house, let alone snow shovels. The papers blared the headline, “SNOW!” And the whole city was paralyzed. By the time the Giants and Cardinals kicked off the next day, temps were back up to the 50s.

No threat of that this week, which frees me to be on the lookout for Cameron Diaz. Giants are getting here in a few hours, and we’ll be talking to them. If there’s any news, you’ll hear it first.

Carpiniello and Phil Reisman are here with me, though I haven’t seen either one of them yet. Carp’s probably in the middle of his beauty sleep. Cameron, she doesn’t need a nap. The other two will be providing columns throughout the week, and Carp’s going to share the blog again. Be nice, everybody. And give us all a good read, will ya.

Anyway, gotta go. The madness is beginning.

Ciao for now.

Just had a fun, fun interview with Giants vice president Steve Tisch on the practice field. The Hollywood producer told us that many celebrities expect to make the trip from Los Angeles to Phoenix either for the tail end of the week or at least for the game. I’m hoping Cameron Diaz is one of them. I asked Steve if he could get me a date with her, and he told me she actually thought of that first. How excited am I?

Anyway, we got to talking about how the Giants’ playoff run has been like a movie. So I asked him who he would cast in various roles. Here’s his list. Tell me if you agree.

Tom Coughlin—Ed Harris
Eli Manning—Leonardo DiCaprio
Michael Strahan—Will Smith
Antonio Pierce—Jamie Foxx
Yours truly—Peter Falk

Just to put your minds at ease, I told him emphatically that if I play myself, I won’t do nude—unless I get paid extra. He seemed disappointed.

Talking about getting paid, he said extension talks with Coughlin would happen “organically.”

“There’s no pressure on us now,” Tisch said. “If things go well Sunday, he’ll certainly be enjoying the benefits of victory.”

Not that Coughlin needs to win the Super Bowl to get a healthy extension, though. Win or lose, he’ll be signing a new deal “over the next few weeks,” according to Tisch.

And he doesn’t expect a major hangup in the talks, either.

Okay. Gotta get ready for my closeup.

Ciao for now.

Looks like that bug Kevin Boss and Mike Matthews had a couple of weeks ago hasn’t completely crawled out of Giants Stadium. Today, FB Madison Hedgecock, DT Manny Wright, and S Michael Johnson went on sick call with the same thing. High fever, bad stomach, etc. Don’t want to jinx myself here, but one of the other writers was dragging with a similar issue yesterday. Two pieces of toast this morning fixed him right up, though.

I’m hoping it doesn’t hit me. I covered the bulk of the 1990 Super Bowl week with a stomach flu, and was just happy to get through the game alive. Hope I don’t have to do the same this time around. Besides, coaches get really ticked when writers infect their players, even if it was a player who infected the writer first.

Oh, well. Good news is that Rich Seubert and Kevin Dockery are fine in that regard. Their limbs, not so great. Seubert rehabbed his sprained MCL by pushing around a Gatorade cart, and Dockery and his strained hip flexor worked out on the sideline. Neither should see the practice field until next Wednesday.

Not to pump up my own stuff, but you might want to take a gander at my story tomorrow. It’s basically about how everybody’s dirty at this time of year. Coaches lie (listening Bill Belichick?), players hit after the whistle. We all knew that, but this is the first time I ever heard anyone say, “Hey, we’re all dirty.” Oh, if only the baseball players would utter those words in front of Congress. But then, I think we’re talking about two different things here. Just a guess.

Okay. One more day before I take off for the desert. All bon voyage bouquets and fruit baskets can be sent in care of my office. They’ll make sure I get them.

Ciao for now.

Here’s a little pop culture clip you might enjoy from Eddie Murphy’s Coming to America . It references the Giants.

Ciao for now.